TO KNOW OR NOT TO KNOW

Ever been in a conversation and the person says something, and you have no idea what there talking about but you pretend that you do? Its a bit unnerving the amount of times i have had to do that. I am that ignorant? But i have mastered the art of of pretending. its a bit like comprehension like you did in prep school. you infer based on the context. but i was wondering as good as that ability is, wouldnt it be more beneficial to you to admit you dont know and have person explain it to you. I know that there are certain circumstances where it is necessary not to advertise your ignorance, but there are times when you just need to say i dont know.

Confidence

Its amazing how far a little confidence will take you.

BEING FRIGID

My house mate and i were talking the other day about the death of our landlady and the numerous calls we get from people asking if we are afraid of being in the house alone. She was comenting on how she felt a sence of lose and was saddened but was not necessarily afraid (she however does not want to be left alone in the house).

I could not relate to the sence of lose. Yes she and i used to talk and i would go over to her and do errands and the like. but i must say her death has not moved me. This had me thinking back to death of my grand mother and the very similar reaction i had to her death. i simply said ok she died. I lived with my grandmother practically my whole life she raised me. when i came home from school she was there with a cooked dinner. our relationship was and good. so it would seem that i would feel some sence of lose when she died. But i didnt. I was a bit surprised because i did not expect her to, but thats it.

So i have to ask the question: Am i emotionally frigid? Do lack some capabilty to feel? normally this would not bother me but ever since high school i have been teased for being cold and "dry". Now i really have to wonder. Arent supposed to be sad?

THE PRIVATE SECTOR CRISIS

For those who dont know i am in a new job.The company i am now with has offered me a part time job while in school but requested my services in the month of August. I now know the meaning of culture shock. The public sector is, in comparison, a wonderful lixurious world of order and supply. I order, and the purchasing department supplies. Not so in the world of the private sector.

I get the feeling that wasting funds is contageous or i have caught the youthful exuberance of our wonderful minister Paulwell. At my old job when in need of equipment and other ammenities i simply place an order for the best, most technologically advanced and user friendly (i worked at the Scientific Research Council- we should be at the cutting edge). Here at my new job i find myself cutting the corners of a circular object.

They asked me to set up a microbiology lab. Being youthfully exuberant i in my infinite wisdom make a detailed list of the equipment needed to set up an efficient well functioning laboratory that would run as a well oiled engine. With confidence i presented this budget to the director. She smiled. i have discovered in my short experience with directors, that it is never a good thing if they smile when discussing money. BE WARY OF THE SMILE. She inturn gave me a budget, i smiled.

So if you see me looking a bit perplexed and frazzled, know it was because of the smile.

P.S. i need someone who works at customs to help me out with a thing.