TO BE OR NOT TO BE

i wonder sometimes why is it that i never really did "bruk out" when i came to university. i normally tell the younger of my generation that there is nothing called peer pressure at university everything that you choose to do is because you were curious and wanted to do it. so what happened to my curiosity. i dont think i was that mentally grounded to fend of being influenced.

i am not saying that i left university the same way i came but i didnt change that much. i didnt develope the habbit of cussing, didnt go out and sleep around, didnt do anything of note really. I just came got a degree and left.Where did the university experience go. it certainaly missed me or i missed it.

i am not saying that i want to do those things i just wondered why. but then when i look at the history of females in my family i can see where i get it from. i believe my aunts were raised in the era of feminism where women were all hype about conquering the world. they got into it and never did get out of it. I have yet to meet a man that can stand up to or equal much less to surpass the ambition, drive and independence of some of my aunts.

the women of my family tend to be goal oriented. they travel the world just because they can and they conquer - because they can. But sometimes i wonder do they live. My grandmother had 7 girls only 2 are married with children. please note i am not saying they are unfulfilled. i am just comming torealize why i am the way i am.

I know its been awhile sincei have blogged- school has been a little hectic. So what has transpired in my life since last i blogged. Nothing much really, i have been at school and lwhen not at school i have been at work. Balancing both has taken up all of my time. Med school is not hard if you manage your time properly. That i learned after the first semeter.

First Semester was interesting. i never got the first day gitters cause i found alot of the people i did a first degree with were back to do med too so i knew alot of people in the class. Even though i dont feel like it, watching the children that came directly from high school i have seen how i have matured and grown up. you could clearly tell in my class those that came directly from high school and those that did a first degree. A few years does make a big difference.

As one would expect where there is a large gathering of young minds there the " mentally gifted", for want of a better term, will be also. I find that i get along with everyone. I am not quite sure if that is a good thing or bad thing . On one hand it could mean that i am a friendly person or on thw other hand it could mean that i am a pushover- but i dont think so.

Anyway there is this one particular person in my class that cannot get along with anyone. If you tell her good morning she gets upset and wonders why the B.... i telling her good morning today. she is a special person. She tells me that she once was undergoing therapy but didnt go back because the therapist was too nosey. Makes you confident in the future doctors of our country doesnt it.

then there is a person with the completely opposite type of personality. she apologises for existing. She would spend 15minutes apologising for having to bother to borrow a pencil. Its amazing i tell you the diversity of people that you find.

I believe there are somethings that just cannot be taught in medical school. They might teach us and let us recite the things we need t say when with our patients. But deep sence of copassion and caring that one needs as a doctor i find must be intrinsic. On our entrance forms they asked for a mental evaluation i think they need to really look more in depth at because there are some people in my class that arent cut out to be doctors. but that makes me wonder -Am I?